Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Memory Storage

I wish I could regularly blog, like I used to. I feel like the last 3 years have been a defining, crucial time in my life, and yet I was rarely able to sit myself down, organize my thoughts, and document them. I still remember all of the events, emotions and experiences during that time, luckily. I want to do better at blogging (journaling) because my mother did it, and her journals are some of the most precious items I have left of her. I know some funny and meaningful stories from my childhood because of those journals. Like how my mother was potty training me at 2 years old. One day I told her I wanted to go by myself, and I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door before she could assist me. I was a big girl, I could do it myself. My mom waited outside the door for a good 5 minutes before finally deciding to check on my progress. She opened the door, and there I stood; legs spread, head down, hands clasped in front of me with my index fingers pointing toward the toilet. "What are you doing?" She asked me. I had looked at her with the proudest smile and said, "I pee like brother!" my mom calmly walked out, shut the door, and had a crying fit of laughter! She then came back in and explained the difference between girls and boys and their pee parts.

Her journals also reassure me that despite the torment I put her through during some of my teenage years, I was so loved and special to her. Even when I dated jerks, when I stopped going to church, and when my grades slipped further down the alphabet line. Of course I know in my soul that I was always loved and special to her, but seeing the words written down brings an extra comfort.

I think the problem I am having with blogging, is that I always feel like I need to be philosophical in my posts. Come to some climactic epiphany, or have some life lesson spun into my words. I forget that just capturing moments from my life, from my children's life, is what is most important. Even if it's just one line. "It was a great day." My kids will see that and know that on that day, I was happy. Certainly Facebook isn't going to be around forever, and you can be sure my kids aren't going to scroll through it looking at my status updates to gauge how life was. To me, a journal is as important as pictures.

So this is my goal for myself. I will blog. Ideally, once a week. Realistically? Hopefully once a week, or at least whenever something worthwhile (or seemingly mundane) happens. Capturing our life so that if our kids have any doubts of their childhood, or are curious about events, they can look back at my entries and read about it. Family vacations we took before they were old enough to remember, weekend trips to the Zoo. Potty training tales, terrible 2's, first days of school, what we do on a lazy day. Anything. I owe my children that. It's something I cherish from my mother, and I don't want to suddenly be 50 and look back, and regret that my kids don't have my words of wisdom (har har) to carry with them even after I'm gone.

I am 36 weeks pregnant now. I am so excited to bring another precious soul into this world, and to fill this blog with memories of and for her (and her, and him).

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