Adjusting

There are so many things on my mind tonight! We had a great Fourth of July. We went to Heritage Trails in Hilliard, it's a 7 mile bike/horse trail with a small water park somewhere in there. It was beautiful! I had gotten a bike trailer for the kids so we hooked that up and went for a bike ride. What better day to appreciate Nature's Beauty than Independence Day?? After that we went for a cookout with our new friends. Chris met Cris (haha) at work and I made friends with his girlfriend Kim. She just had a baby girl, soooo adorable! Full head of hair! She was a month old so Nevaeh was fascinated with her (and was surprisingly gentle!) and Landon played with Kim's 2 1/2 yr old and almost 4 yr old daughters. It was so nice to be surrounded by fun, sweet people! Hopefully Kim and I can start making play dates and girls days once Hannah is a bit older. I'm really in need of some friends here in Columbus!

The 4th being so recent has also made me contemplate our Country. Casey Anthony was just announced Not Guilty in the murder of her daughter, and at first I was completely furious at the system for allowing this woman to get away with it. Whether Caylee drowned or was murdered, that doesn't even matter to me. what matters is that a woman who cares about no one but herself, who did not report her daughter "missing" for over a month, got a tattoo saying Beautiful Life, among other things, is now going to walk free and continue on with her life. Undoubtedly there will be a movie deal, book deal, countless interviews and magazines. She'll be financially set for life. It infuriated me that the System would let someone like that go. But then I dug a little deeper and first let go of my anger, because no matter what happened, Casey will answer to God one day. It is not my responsibility to worry about punishing her or seeking justice. God will take care of it all. Secondly, the system is not faulty (completely) rather the Prosecution did not prepare itself fully and the Jury was not well educated on how to take the information given to them. One of the jurors said that one of the main reasons they found her not guilty was because they did not want the Death penalty. However, there were also less severe charges (Murder 2) available and had they charged her with that, the Death penalty would not have come into play. The juror had even said if the DP was not on the table, their verdict would have been different. That disgusts me that they were not prepared enough to know that.

I am also calming down. For some reason I've been feeling anxious and irritable the last couple months (No, I'm not pregnant!) and I was just on edge. My patience was a very short fuse especially when it came to Landon because he is just in a wild stage and really defiant, so holding in my temper and forcing myself to acknowledge that he is only (almost) 3 was difficult! I think the talk I had with Chris is what made me relax. Telling him what I need for myself and telling him that I felt lost in Motherhood and Wiferhood because I was forgetting about myself as an individual. I am Bethany, not just Mommy or Wife. He has made more of a conscious effort to tell me he appreciates all I do, to rub my shoulders at night or just cuddle me in bed so I have his amazing arms wrapped securely around me. I find myself a lot less stressed. Chris is always the one to tell me "Don't worry about it. Everything is good." and he's so right. I freak out if I don't get my super long list done, I worry about the tiniest things. He reminds me to just step back and let it fall into place. Breathe.


Blogging is cut short tonight. The timer for my meatloaf is going off and Landon has just decided to play with bubbles in the house which means they are dumped all over the carpet, and I'm positive once Nevaeh realizes that she will be over to those bubbles faster than lightening! Have a great night!